No Beauty In Breakdown
by dream-2me
Summary: Instead of Chapter 27: Needs of Eclipse, I wanted to see what would happen if Edward was suffering more than Bella knew. It ends in the same spot, minus the meadow scene, as Eclipse. Edward is overwhelmed with pain and Bella must face him and his agony.


Bella is crumbling with pain after she confronts Jacob in his bedroom. Edward is there for Bella when she cries thought-out the night but after Bella wakes up Edward quickly departs, preparing for his own break down.

The scene ends basically the same, just a twist on the whole Wuthering Heights ending/chapter.

One Shot: No Beauty in Breakdown

I woke up to see Edward's smiling face. I my mind was still restless but my body didn't have enough energy to keep it going. My eye lids fluttered and the last glimpse I caught of Edward was of his back, walking silently towards my door. He glanced over his shoulder one last time before leaving.

I'd never seen his eyes look so human. So_ breakable_.

I wanted to run to him and lock my arms around him, forbidding him to go. I couldn't, physically. My eyes lids were too heavy to budge let alone my entire body.

Unconsciousness swiftly overpowered me.

It was horrid, my dreams. They were not only filled with Jacob's pain, but soon Edward's flooded my mind.

I was walking towards Jacob, smiling. He was smiling back and I couldn't understand why. His arms stretched and when I got close enough he took my face in his hands and kissed me like before. I felt myself give in, wrapping my arms around his waist. I wanted it. But I soon had the urge to turn away and when I did I saw Edward, that crumbling look in his eyes. I tried to shove away from Jake but he formed a steel grip around me. I called to Edward but he just kept the same aching look in his eyes, boring them straight into my soul. His lips weren't moving but I could hear his voice. "Bella, you were _my _sun, too." I broke away from Jake and when I did he disappeared. I didn't pay much attention because I was now sprinting towards Edward. I should have collided with his body but he had vanished too. All I could hear now was his voice saying, "It's too late." It clicked that in this nightmare I'd chosen differently.

When I woke up I felt tears sliding down my cheeks. I'd expected Edward to be next to me, but he _was_ gone.

Before I could form a coherent thought I was flying down the stairs and out the door. I thought I heard Charlie frantically asking me something, but it didn't matter.

My truck hauled down the streets, ignoring any speed limits. All I heard, all I thought about were those few words, "It's too late". I said goodbye to Jacob, but I couldn't shake the nightmare of Edward saying goodbye to _me_.

I'd never been happier to find the turnoff to the Cullen house. Before my tuck was even stopped I hopped out and ran toward the front door. No one appeared to be home.

"Alice…"

At the exact moment I said her name I heard a giant smash coming from upstairs. I jumped at the volume of the sound and inhaled one sharp breath. It then became dead silent.

I didn't call his name because I knew it was him and he knew I was here.

My panicked footsteps broke the smothering silence. I ran into Edward's room to find everything smashing into bits.

He was standing in the corner, picking at one of the metal roses from his bed, the dull light from the window revealing that familiar, hurt look in his eyes.

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't speak. When he looked up at me I could _feel_ my heart snap and was surprised that I couldn't hear it.

My dream must have been more real than I'd ever imagined. This whole time I thought Jacob's pain had been unbearable, but I never even focused on what was right in front of me. Edward's _agony_.

What did he think of all night when I cried? I could guess. He thought that he did this to me, made me chose and then suffer the consequences. There was one problem with this, though.

His eyes no longer reflected my own pain that he felt second hand. This was his pain. His own pain, dug up from deep, deep inside him.

It had been a minute before a sound was made. My breathing was normal now that I'd figured it out… or I thought I did.

My words were still lost so I just walked up to Edward and wrapped my arms around his waist. It was in the exact same way as my dream, except it was Edward not Jacob. It felt better with Edward, it felt _right_.

The scent of him calmed me and I finally had the courage to look into his eyes. But when I looked up he was looking away out the window. It was then that I noticed he didn't have his arms around me at all.

"Edward. _Edward_. Look at me…"

He let out a cool breath and closed his eyes, one last time, before staring deeply into mine.

"You don't need to see me like this."

"Damn that! I'm tired of you bearing all my pain. I can see you however I want and I want to see you for the rest of eternity!"

He let out a quick breath and gave a weak smile.

"Bella, I love you more than anything…"

"I love you, too! More than you can ever know! Edward, _you are_ _my life_. I can't breath without you, I can't think, I can't speak, I can't live! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've put you through so much these last few weeks and I've asked so much of you, please forgive me… I, I am so… so" I noticed that I was crying now, tears frantically falling down my face.

He kissed me fiercely then, and for a second I swear I could feel him not holding back. He pulled his face away and my tears clung to his cheek. It looked so right, like it fit with his eyes. He would have been crying if he could.

"You cut me off, I cut you off" he smirked, but still had agony in his eyes.

"I need to say this. I tried to hide it, be strong, selfless, let you choose without any influence. I cracked, Bella. The thought of not..." he inhaled harshly, "being with you… forever, it breaks me. I can't stand to be away from you for a day. You're my soul, my life, too. I'm strong" he looked around the room at all the broken furniture and then back at me, "but not that strong. Jacob is good. You two" he paused to catch himself, "would be made for each other. I could _try_ to be happy for you, but I cannot be happy if you are not with me. I love you, so, so much. We belong together, and I need you to know that."

I laughed hysterically. I must have sounded mad, because insanity was mixed in my laugher.

"We belong together! I know, I know! If we didn't I would be with Jacob right now…" it stung to mention Jake but it stung even more to think about me without Edward, "but I'm here. I love you, I love you! I can't say it enough."

His eyes were lightening, less pained each time I said it.

"But you must feel uncertainty, Bella. You love him, too."  
"I feel pain, I feel angry with myself, angry at how this turned out, but I do not feel on once of uncertainty, Edward. You were my only choice when it really came down to it."

He must have believed me that time, because the change in this soul was tangible, as if those words were the ones that would convince him forever.

"I love you, Isabella."

All I could do was smile and pull my lips to his. I could feel the relaxation in his brow, the smile in his kiss. I was smiling too. Destiny had pulled me in so many ways these last days, down two different roads. But, in the end, this road was the one I would always choose, whether I knew it then or not. Edward was the only choice for me. Ever since he first caught my eye, it was set.


End file.
